Dignity…..

Dignity that’s our word of the day so hard to live life without it but is that a deciding factor between why one should go on or not?  How does one keep dignity as they lay on the floor eliminating on themselves….My Oso Bear is really struggling with dignity… I see it in his face and his demeanor. Though he didn’t mean to go pee on himself but what else can he do when his entire hind end is not functioning for him?

We do pick him up many times throughout the day and generally he does urinate at that time but last night evidently he had to go again which I rejoice because his bodily functions are working yet when I walked in to find him laying in poop and pee the look on his face said it all and brought me to tears. He was extremely apologetic and the look that he gave me and I saw his dignity was gone…. is that fair that I keep him around? Is he here for my own satisfaction or am I doing right by him? Our goal here is to get his  medical bill paid off and work on a fundraiser to buy him a wheelchair so he has the ability to get up and around and go hang out outside some more so I guess with that goal in mind the idea is to bring the dignity back to him. In the meantime oh how it breaks my heart as the tears roll down my face while typing this I want nothing but the best for My Big Fuzzy Oso Bear. I am one who always tends questions themselves and have the perpetual fight between the heart and the mind on which ones right. There is  much more thought needed obviously I’m one big ball of emotions right at this very second.

I love you Oso with all of my heart and soul…. Please forgive me if I hang onto hope if even just a moment too long!!

Love,

Courtney

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